“I’m not calling anyone out;
I know that you know that this entry is for you anyway.
Alam mo naman na malalaman ko in the end, right?
Because you had to show me.
Sana hindi nalang.
Ikaw nga daw yung nauna eh.
Dapat sinabi mo nalang. That would’ve saved us so much trouble.
It would’ve saved us time, effort, emotion, and I could go on and on and on.
It would’ve saved me period.
Di ako galit.
Di rin ako naseselos.
Di rin ako bitter. Haha.
Pero ang tanga ko lang.
Mamatay nalang ako sa katangahan ko, diba?
I thought everything was fine between us. Akala ko na after so much time, wala na yun.
Kung alam ko lang. Oh God, I was so wrong. On so many levels.
Isa lang yung question sa mind ko,
“diba last year pa ‘to?”
Sana di mo nalang ideny, no?
For how many times;
I can only tolerate so much shit.
From what I know now, you won’t ever love me as much as you love her.
Because you’ve never loved that much before, right?
Is that right?
Am I right?
Because honestly I don’t know what right is anymore.
Sino ba talaga yung nagsisinungaling sa inyo?
Ano ba talaga yung totoo?
What is right, what is the solid truth?
You tell me.
I just tell myself, okay wala naman akong paki.
Pero meron. Haha. If I didn’t care, why would I post this?
Onga naman.
Beav, ba’t ka ba nagcocomplain dito sa blog mo?
Wala namang mangyayari diba?
Will you stop loving her?
And even if you did stop and change your mind in a span of how many days, would complaining/venting erase the past?
Eeeeenk.
No.
Will it mash back together my deteriorating self-esteem?
Eeeeenk.
No.
Do I just want to let you know that I’m hurt, so hurt, that I fucking hate you so much for that but I still want to make this work because I love you too much?
Ding-
Almost.
Does it make me feel good because I am hurt?
Ding ding ding.
We have a winner.
I’m a wuss, I can say that with so much confidence.
I never told you how much you’ve affected me over the past 64736742347832742 months.
We pick up each other’s mannerisms.
Pinick up ko ba yung pagkamanhid mo?
Sana.
Kunwari nalang.
Kunwarian nalang palagi.
Diba ang galing na natin dun?
Kunwari nalang hindi masakit.
HAHAHAHAHA. Bullshit.
You always mention a name, alam mo na kung ano yun.
Okay, so crush ko siya before. I’m sorry.
Parang wala kang ibang crush no?
Crushes are just crushes.
Siya, crush lang ba?
The day before Valentine’s;
di ka sure sa feelings mo sakanya?
edi di ka sure on the day before the day before the day before the day before the day before that?
Or you changed your mind?
You change your mind so quickly that I’m always just a pitstop when something goes wrong.
Safe haven, ganun?
You know me.
You know I love you.
You know na madali lang akong magforgive.
Or maybe ganun lang ako sayo.
Most likely. You can keep on coming back and I’ll still be there.
Kasi nga, mahal kita.
Kundi, hindi masakit.
If I was in the same postition with someone else, I’d walk away.
Hindi naman halata na special ka sakin no.
Otherwise, if it’s some other fhdhfsd I won’t give a fuck.
Likewise, I shouldn’t give a fuck.
Kasi nga, mahal mo siya.
So what am I to you?
What do I mean to you?
That’s all I wanted to ask from the start.
And with that newfound realization;
What are you gonna do now?
Because halfway through writing this, I realized the reason why I wrote this, why I went through so much, why I wait, why why why blah blah blah
Oo, mahal kita. Admit ko na yun.
Alam kong wala nang effect yan, pero gets.
It’s the root of every reason I do what I do.
Likewise, like what you said to her,
I can safely say I haven’t been in love with anyone as much as I’ve been with you.
But what the fuck. I’m 13, who cares?
So yun. Haha. It’s over.
Are you sorry?
‘Cause I’m exponentially more sorry than you will ever be.”
NGAYON WALA NA AKONG PAKI KASI NAKAKAINIS KA SO PLEASE, MAWALA KA SA PANINGIN KO FOREVER KASI ANG LANDI MOOOO =)))))
HEHE. ^_____^ I’M SO SORRY!!!
so emo before. ////____T ewww hehe bat ganon ano kinain ko =))) bye na nga
